When you’ve been in the game long enough, you inevitably lose people who helped shape your life.
Whether it’s a parent, a coach, a mentor, or a close friend, eventually someone who had a profound impact on you passes on.
Recently, I lost a coach, mentor, and friend, Mark Tobiassen.
Mark was the kind of coach everyone hopes to find.
He believed in me before I fully believed in myself.
He saw potential that hadn’t been awakened yet. He recognized my appetite for learning and my desire to improve. More importantly, he challenged me to become more than I thought I could be.
I’m grateful not only to have known Mark, but to have been coached by him.
I first met Mark through EAGA (Executive Associates of Greater Albuquerque), just as many of my friends and colleagues had. I attended one of his quarterly Growth Club events at Tanoan Country Club, and it didn’t take long to realize he was different.
Mark had a gift.
He could help people see opportunities where they only saw obstacles.
He helped me drill down into my business, set goals, and create clear expectations. But what made his coaching special wasn’t just the business advice. It was the environment he created. He surrounded people with other growth-minded individuals who inspired each other to take action.
Mark understood that when you put the right people together, amazing things happen.
When I first met him, one of the things I noticed was his presence. As a former basketball player, he carried himself like an athlete. As an athlete myself, there was an immediate connection. It’s hard to explain, but athletes often recognize something familiar in each other.
As our relationship grew, Mark introduced me to new books, ideas, mentors, and networks that expanded my thinking. I began reading more, learning more, and applying those lessons to both my business and my life.
That last part is important.
Mark taught me that knowledge alone isn’t enough.
Reading a book doesn’t change your life.
Taking action does.
As an ActionCOACH, Mark embodied that principle. He challenged people to move forward, even when things weren’t perfect.
One lesson that has stayed with me for years is this:
Don’t wait until it’s 100% ready. Get it 80% ready and take action.
Too many people stay stuck because they’re waiting for the perfect plan, the perfect timing, or the perfect conditions. Mark taught me that progress comes from action, not perfection.
One of the greatest gifts Mark gave me was confidence.
For years, I allowed myself to be defined by my stutter. Public speaking wasn’t something that came naturally to me, and I often doubted my ability to communicate effectively.
Mark saw something different.
In typical Mark fashion, he challenged me to get uncomfortable.
I remember the first time he asked me to stand in front of his Growth Club participants and lead a quick warm-up workout before the meeting started. He asked me the day before. My first reaction was hesitation. I wasn’t sure I was the right person for the job.
But I knew I needed to get out of my own way if I wanted to grow.
So I said yes.
The next morning, I stood in front of the room and led the group through the warm-up. It wasn’t perfect, but it went well.
Looking back, what made the difference wasn’t my preparation or my confidence.
It was Mark’s confidence in me.
His belief was all it took.
That moment became one of many opportunities where Mark pushed me to step forward instead of shrink back. Through his coaching and introductions to mentors like Joel Weldon, I developed skills and confidence that continue to serve me today.
More importantly, he helped me stop seeing myself through the lens of my limitations.
Mark was also a man of faith.
He honored God through the way he lived, the way he served others, and the way he loved his family and his wife.
His faith wasn’t something he simply talked about. It was evident in the way he carried himself every day.
As I reflect on the impact he had on my life, I realize that the greatest coaches do more than teach skills. They help people become who they were created to be.
Mark did that for me.
He challenged me, encouraged me, believed in me, and helped me grow into a better leader, coach, husband, father, and man.
While I will miss him deeply, I have peace knowing that I will see him again one day.
Until then, I will continue to fight the fight God has placed before me. I will continue serving others, growing, learning, and helping people become the best versions of themselves.
I want to thank God for bringing Mark into my life.
His influence helped shape the coach, leader, husband, and man I am today.
When I think about what it means to be a coach, I think about Mark.
He is the definition of a coach.
